i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Everything about him screamed your future.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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