I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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