She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
