you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
