The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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