I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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