I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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