Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I need to sanitize my soul.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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