he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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