It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
