I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
