I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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