How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
My Higher Power is John Stamos
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
