Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
