If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize