Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
