:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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