Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
