i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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