we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You are a genius and a whore.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
