You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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