I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize