Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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