okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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