I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
