OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
