im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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