I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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