I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
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