Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
