ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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