there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
