Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
