saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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