this beer tastes like vomit already
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
i out mim tonsoeep
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