billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
