Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
