Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
