I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
