Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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