dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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