You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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