I want to have your abortion
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Is it penis luge time yet?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
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