I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
