were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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