dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
