you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
