Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
