You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
