I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
