We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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