So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize