This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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