I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
