we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
