At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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