Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
