all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
