belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
