It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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