We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
