Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
