you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
