dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
