And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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