I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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